HURST

William Randolph, father of the American unwhitened newspapers. Democrat. Started life in a humble manner, only controlling a few newspapers. He soon purchased others. His magical touch changed their color. Employed the greatest staff of imaginary geniuses ever gathered together. These men had the ability to write unhampered by mere details or facts. H. also employed many good lawyers and used them frequently. Fortified by his constituents, to wit: the aforesaid geniuses and newspapers, H. entered politics as a candidate for anything. Was always Bryaned and Roosevelted. Ambition: Same as Bryan. Recreation: Reading yellow journals. Address: All large American cities. Epitaph: The Vote Is Mightier Than The Pen.