LOVER

T. H. E., conqueror of worlds, architect of castles, lunatic, and saint. Spent early days only in living. In young manhood he met Her. From that moment all other hers he had known became lemons. L. was an expert prevaricator. Polished shoes, dressed neatly, shaved every day, and never ate onions. Spent evenings at Her house. Detested gas or electric lights. Was fond of the fireplace and hands. Quarreled occasionally. Spent salary for theatre tickets, candy, and flowers. Walked on air. Had a terrible time keeping away from his friends who wanted him to have a good time. One night Her looked wonderfully beautiful. L. said some things. He could not keep quiet. Her blushed, permitted him to sit closer, and then told L. he was the dearest, sweetest, finest, biggest, noblest, bravest lovey in the wide, wide world. Later L. secured an embarrassing interview and visited a jewelry store. Diet: Poor. Ambition: A mother-in-law. Address: Her home. Clubs: None. Epitaph: For Men May Come and Men May Go.