BRYAN

William Jennings, a famous Chatauqua lecturer who ran a newspaper and the State Department on the side. Archaeologists claim B. formed a passion to rule the nation when a child. He only got as far as the Democratic party and platforms. Became a golden orator with a silver speech and offered himself as a rectifier of all things not Bryan. For ages his name was placed on the presidential ballot and later removed. Made a fortune by telling people why they did not elect him. Also toured the world, but shot no game in Africa or Monte Carlo. Was the father of Bryanism, an odious word meaning things Bryan. Later secured one Wilson to attend to Washington detail work. Motto: All things come to him with bait. Ambition: Short ballot with one name. Publications: The Commoner, a newspaper devoted to Bryan advertisements. Address: Mail forwarded from Washington. Epitaph: He Will Rise Again.