BARBECUE

(n) 1. Toilet paper. The honest-to-God's truth: Earlier today my wife and I were driving around. I needed to stop by a branch of our bank to make a deposit. I said, I'll go to the bank at Wal-Mart.... I need to pick up some barbecue. She gave me a puzzled look and asked, Barbecue? I said, I have no idea why I said 'barbecue.' I meant to say 'toilet paper.' I must have just read a sign that said 'barbecue.' Oh well, I'll just add 'barbecue' to the pseudodictionary today and give it the meaning 'toilet paper.' Then what I said makes sense. 2. (n) A non sequitur. (v) To barbecue is to produce a non sequitur orally or in writing. Example: You submit a word to the pseudodictionary. After receiving your email notification from Paul and Garret that your word has been added, you click on the link to surf to the site, you're filled with anticipation--you know the thrill you'll experience when you see your word...your description!...your example!!...in an online dictionary!!! You think, ohmigod! i'll be famous! (Many of the pseudodoctrinati think in lower case. Paul McFedries of www.logophilia.com might refer to them as shiftless thinkers.) Then, 'Ello, this isn't the example I submitted! It's been pseudoctrinated!! Asshole editor!!! You then send an email, asking the editor why he changed what you wrote--perhaps even *demanding* that he tell you why he changed your artful use of language. A response you might get follows the ////////// below. Other ways the editor may use barbecue: (1) Barbecue. This is the editor's shorthand response for I don't know. My brain must have left the building before I did. (2) Barbecue? The always polite Damned if I know why I changed it. Did your brain perhaps leave the building before you did? I know that happens to me the BFOer I get. Are you sure you wrote what you think you did? OR (appearing in your entry when it's added) Is this what you meant to say? It looks to me as if it may be a non sequitur. (3) Flame the editor? Barbecue! will mean something like Fuck you...and the horse you rode in on or Go set *yourself* on fire. That is to say, in no uncertain terms, the editor is not going to antagonize his wife and get into arguments with her about his wasting his time arguing with you. He's far too wily for that. Also too BFO. ////////// I don't know why I had difficulty understanding it. Everything else you sent in was very clear. Maybe your original example had a barbecue in it? OR Did you barbecue your description? Your example?